ok i'm done with livejournal. i honestly have nothing left to say to some of you, and to the rest of you...trust me, you don't want to hear about my boring life anymore.
I am having an amazing day thus far. It's beautiful out, and I got a 92 on the math test that everyone else failed. Tomorrow Ms. Ice is giving everyone a chance to gain 12 more points on their test scores, so I can only go up from here. I could get a 104 on the test, which would be sweet, but I'm not planning on studying because who cares? I'm in college already. I am going to have an average that is over 100% on my midterm grade. I don't think I've ever done this well in math ever, I seriously own Math 5. In fact, I'm beginning to own Hopkins in general. Somehow I discovered a way to rock every class this year, even in subjects I normally suck at (like English). That probably just proves how totally done I am with high school. This last half of the year is already amazing, I don't have to be at Hopkins until 9:00 AM and I'm done by 10:30 AM every day. I never have any work, and I go out on school nights.
I absolutely love being a second semester senior at Hopkins.
So on my second day in a row off from school I began to ponder why I have no friends. Then, I looked at Karly's senior year pictures and I discovered the sad, sad truth:
Believe it or not, most people don't think it's cool when you stick packing peanuts up your nose and in your ears...hm
Trying on your boyfriend's glasses is OK as long as you don't look like that.
When that, up there, is your best friend...you can prob. see why people wouldn't come introduce themselves to you.
"There is this man in America, called Jesus. You think he's dead, but he's not. He's in America, and he can throw playing cards past Moses by parting the water."
Have you ever noticed how certain choices you make can totally affect friendships in a not-so-great way? I guess it helps you figure out what ones are strong enough to last through anything. Sadly, in my case...I think I only have two of those. My friendships with Julio and Jonah. I can go whole summers without talking to them, and when we get back together it's like we had been hanging out every day. Then again, I guess I shouldn't expect to have more than two friendships like that. Maybe I'm really lucky to have any at all.
Another thing I've realized over the years is that nothing will work if all the effort is one-sided. It's not even worth bothering.
I am already missing some people a lot. People who were big parts of my life who are now off at college, and some people who are within a half an hour of me but things just aren't the same with. Sometimes I wish I could rewind a year, but I guess it's really time for me to finish off this chapter in my life and move on. Whoever feels like sticking around is welcome, but I'm not going to try to salvage anything anymore. I've spent too many years doing just that.
This year is going to be harder to get through than I expected, wish me luck.
I would love to get struck by lightning right now. Please, God. I've never asked you for anything...which is probably because I don't believe you exist.
It'd be really cool if I could stop crying and fall asleep. I wish I still had some sleeping pills laying aorund, except if I did I'd prob. be too tempted to let myself sleep through the next few days.
